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    day 20

    hookers in Tijuana charge forty dollars twenty goes to them nineteen goes to their pimp one dollar is for the boy who cleans the room after the girls wear long hoops of odd colored gold, some dangle fake turquoise from their plunging necklines some line up at this small taco stand that sells broth for fifty cents from styrofoam cups I wonder if they know styrofoam lasts forever but I image they do I imagine they know of most things that last

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    day 19

    they say girls are worth more than boys girls are treasure boxes, covered in silver, gold filagree girls are wrapped like birthday gifts, head to toe only the eyes show, only the red or green girls are told to hush hush hush save those precious vowels, save those pursed lips those singing contestants save those legs long and short formed as trees are formed save those faces dark and light each different each the same such beauty is hidden candles snuffed so the brightness doesn’t frighten they say girls are worth more than boys this must be why, they sell so well

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    day 18

    first- the objects rituals- to follow a girl- a boy- high school right? his friends ask high school- biology- where he’d made the frog twitch she screamed- so loud weeks- of apology finally- a smile prized as gold now the ring gold- blue stones she hates- diamonds thinks- they’re covered in blood on his knees every muscle tense message- what was the message? Will you? Will you? yes

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    Day 17

    Love story #firstdate #metontheinternet #talllightfreckled #burgerandfries #tastesofmint #newboyfriend #hasitonlybeenaweek? #sweet #callseveryday #whereamI? #whoamIwith? #movedin #newdigs #omgaview #beachsexisawesome #nevercooks #nevercleans #garbagecanisfull #neverseemyfriends #cantgohomeforchristmas #bestcoverupforbruises? #twittertakesuptoomuchtime #bye

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    Day 16

    my brain is a wet sticky mass like thick mud wrapped grass I can’t process the eye or e or c distantly, I watch myself talk and move talk and move smile, you should smile here can I manage that? a smile? should I practice in the mirror like a shark or a card sharp or a used car salesman none seem to fit the frown stays a while plays around with up up up never quite reaching the zenith my smile is climbing a mountain, tall and cold my smile has no safety line, no soul to hang on to my smile does not come and go when you…

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    day 15

    dear mermaids I don’t get why you eat people people are full of horrible things cancerous throbbing tumors fat cells and hardened hearts lungs full of air thick and fibrous black fog and smoke skin like broken christmas paper wrapping, all metal tasting you should try chow mein or pasta or even sushi I hear it tastes just like the sea

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    day 14

    Me and the man in the box I have conversations with you now I tell you about my dreams the ones where chairs chase me where webs take my arms holding them tight they say time is short, I don’t think it is I had plenty of time time to visit you in that steel bent bed time to talk to your empty eyes you were gone long before you were gone I wanted to see you one last time wanted to see your face they’ve closed the box, put a picture of you on top I can only reach inside with my voice I can only apologize not for…

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    day 13

    riddle poem   I have been given a name two syllables, not one those stories all say I want I want I want what I want is not what I am I am one have one will always be one unless you count the second is it all about sex? I’m sure yes, I’m sure there are no damsels in my true story no virgin white no tender hand grasping is it all about sex? I’m sure yes, I’m sure

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    day 12

    two ears both black sometimes hang down never up tail like a spring twisted on itself goggles for eyes never blink too close if you close your eyes you hear the sounds of monsters, wicked forest creatures in his breath stand far away to see the rolls of flesh like the counter of a bakery flush full of goods in the morning rush

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    day 11

    my eyes are closed stiff like a body on television I should rise up stumble towards the cracked inside of myself those pieces in the distance have only been buried just so I can still see them